Saturday, March 07, 2015

I'm 35 and never had a girlfriend

Image: ClipartPanda

The article in the Guardian about never having a girlfriend or boyfriend and you are in your 30s is probably more of a problem than people would care to admit. I am blogging about it because the comments were bizarre, to say the least, and then just plain unhelpful. There was someone I knew who was in exactly that predicament. She had been at school, uni, work and still there was no special someone. She had managed a couple of times to have one evening with someone and then that was that. Some of it was she was not a drinker and most people drink these days. She didn't especialy like parties and just diverting herself with amusements. Her working hours were very long and she often had to work weekends. She went out with friends when she could. She went on holidays when she could. She tried to make things happen when she could. You just have to be with people and go on holidays and keep your family life going. She wasn't gay but she got a lot of support and comfort from her gay friends. She did not put up barriers to outings and events even if she didn't think she would much like them. In the end , it was one of her school friends on Facebook that broke the ice in relationships. She went to visit him in another state but he wasn't that easy to get along with. She tried it again the following year and he let her down very badly and she was in a situation where she had to decide whether to stay interstate in an emotional mess or come home. She toughed it out. She made  a point of doing nice things each day. In the meantime someone at work was texting her to help her stabilise . He was being a good friend. A great friend. He knew what it was like to be viciously let down by someone. Even though she had never thought much about him before, she realised this was a really fantastic person to have in her life. So she was in her 30s and now she had this really nice guy and they have been together ever since. You just don't know. You just have to be places doing things. One of my Mum's friends didn't marry until he was 40. He just couldn't find anyone and then he found his lovely wife and they had a great marriage. Same for my neighbours. They did not meet until he was 40 and she wasn't that keen on him but had agreed to go out with him just once. They have been inseparable and my neighbour inherited the best family ever. Be there. Do things and be honest with people. Be yourself and make an effort to be a happy self who likes doing things.From my observation I can see this works. 

Monday, January 12, 2015

Do something for others

I hate winter so to find my beautiful summer turned into winter for a few days last week was a bit disconcerting. I had to stop doing summer things and it threw me a bit until I decided to get back into my sewing. I have decided I'll be back into my patchwork and quilting this year and when I was sorting through the boxed and bags there was a lot of stuff there which wasn't suiting what I had in mind. I always make shopping bags for myself and others from my leftover bits but I had done plenty of those and finished the two which were still there. I still had plenty of bits so I decided to respond to my vet's Facebook call for bedding and created some little pet beds. They were fun and easy to make and are totally washable. My friends and family were very enthusiastic about them so the miserable weather outside was completely fogotten in my project. I delivered the pet beds today and know that you cannot change some things but you can certainly make the most of the circumstances. I feel happy knowing the little sick pets have somewhere cheerful to rest.  It has also given me an alternate project to shopping bags when I have leftover material. There are plenty of places which would appreciate extra bedding, I am sure.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

You can't live life sitting in a chair

Life can be pretty harsh sometimes. People you know  and love can become so sick they end up sitting in a chair. My mother became like that when she had lymphoma and it's when she said , "You can't live life sitting in a chair." She became very profound during her illness and the legacy she has left are messages which just hit the spot. My beautiful  neighbour of 25 years recently was in a similar position. Her life became the recliner in the lounge room because she had pancreatic cancer. Neither of them lived long past the diagnosis but both of them lived until their last day with a quality of life which was quite good given the circumstances. When my Mum said that it was a message to a family member not to sit all day and let life pass them by. For me it got me thinking. I got to work on changing my lounge room a bit and got Mum's chair facing the big window and near me on what was my new fancy desktop. Computers had just come into our homes in Australia. She could look out over the hills and see all the birds in the garden. My lounge room window is great for weather and nature watching and my dog would come up on the decking and look in to see her. Once a day he was allowed in and he would sit next to her chair and she just loved to stroke him and talk to him. We ate in the lounge with her and she would watch what I was doing on the computer and could see some amazing things. In the lounge she also had the TV and the radio and could comfortably dose off when she felt like it. Medical carers coming to visit were amazed how animated she was given her level of illness. My neighbour's chair was also in the lounge room where she could see out her front window and watch our street where there is always something happening and she has birds in her front garden. I made a point of taking my dog for a walk past her place every day because she loved my dog. I'd sometimes get a phone call to go over and visit because she had seen us out on our walk. It meant she was stimulated into making some contact when she felt she was up to it. She had her e-reader and her tablet so she could keep up with her beloved books and email family and friends to keep in contact. She had a lovely, colourful crotchet rug so she could dose off happily when she needed to. In those two cases it made no difference to the length of life but it did make a difference to how they lived those last days. For two other people the chair life got them through some life threatening illnesses and back into normal life. In the first case the hospital had the sense to wheel the person to the window or just outside the room door so they could see people and life going on and participate in any way they could. For the second it was here again and the view of the hills, technology, a pet and other people made sure they could feel like they had a life and the limitations were temporary. My Mum taught me you have to give people a fighting chance and something to be interested in. They might be impossibly sick but they still have a life and a spirit which need nurturing. 

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Vietnamese Cold Rolls

I love Vietnamese cold rolls and always wanted to make them myself. I wasn't confident I'd be able to roll the rice paper. I was right! I tried making them today and my first one was spectacularly wrecked. It fell apart, the snow pea sprouts dug holes in the rice paper and it looked horrible. So hopeless! I persevered and worked out you hardly dip the rice paper for any length of time. Into the water, shake off and onto the preparation surface. Vietnamese cold rolls are so healthy and perfect for our summers. I used snow pea sprouts, chopped prawns, avocado, 2 minute noodles and some peas and sweet corn. I made a nice dipping sauce with the  flavour pouches from the noodles and added a bit of balsamic and fried onion. By the time I had wrapped my fourth roll I could do it quite well. Obviously , practice is what I need! So looking forward to being able to make them now. The recipe on this clip is nice and the process is explained very clearly. Happy now! Another fear conquered. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Vitamins and supplements

There is no substitute for proper medical care and supervision. Healthcare professionals sometimes prescribe vitamins and supplements as part of a care plan. There can be a lack of understanding as to what this will achieve, what is the correct dose and , as with any tablet, lack of knowledge about what the side effects are. There also might be a bit of a delay in being able to speak with your health practitioner too.  I am a great believer in knowing side effects. I have found the webMD site useful because it provides very good information which then helps you to have better discussions with your doctor or medical care provider. It looks at all the issues and it looks at how medications can interact so it is a very helpful place to go if you are getting yourself a bit confused and need to have a proper conversation with your medical health care person. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Never give up

Arthur is  such an inspiration. He shows us you just need to decide you want to change and then persist until you find that person who can assist the transformation. For Arthur it was DDP Yoga . The story is here

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Get on your trike!

The tricycle has caused such a lot of excitement and interest. A family member with a heart condition which is restricting him decided to have a creative approach to his limitations. He likes making things. It has been cold and wet and so it was a good winter activity to actually build the trike. You can buy them ready made. It has been a great project. It has used his brain, his ingenuity and allowed him to get some great feedback and involvement with others. It needs all the adjustments and fine tuning now and will then turn his often trying walk to the shops and back a nice little outing on his trike. It means he can increase his mobility and hopefully have more independence and fitness. That is the plan, anyway. His doctor is pleased with such a good approach to a difficult condition.